Benjamin Franklin said all men are citizens of 2 countries and one of them is France and I agree with him. But that does not mean the cultural and day-to-day activities in those 2 countries are the same and in order to thrive or survive it is up to you to learn the differences and adjust to them. As they say, when in Rome do as the Romans do.
Part of the allure of foreign travel is experiencing the differences in culture and day-to-day living that are different from your own. You learn there are more ways to skin a cat, some of which might be better than your own. If you are open to that you are enriched by the experience. Sadly, if you are like a lot of Americans who believe the American way is always the best way(American exceptionalism) and hence the only way you will return home angry, upset, and exhausted at the "rude" foreigners. It is critical that you read and study and watch YouTube extensively before you leave to visit the area of your choice. It is simple, people overseas don't live like you do and the terrain, geography, and day-to-day living are totally different. The quicker you get used to it the better for you.
Let's start with language. Sitting for a nice dinner in the Marais at Benoit's next to us sat a Texan who immediately announced, "You know I don't speak your damn language". Well, guess what, they live in France and there is no obligation to speak your damn language. But unknown to most Americans they are trying. Every child in France from kindergarten to high school graduation is required to take conversational English every year for 13 years. Most, but not all citizens of Paris speak fairly fluent English. In fact, when I try to speak to them in French they want to speak English as they don't use it that much. But it is not something you can force and in every encounter, you should at least try the polite minimum. I advise everyone to learn at a minimum Bonjour, Au Revoir, Merci, and Siv vous plait. I witness a thousand times Americans saying "thank you" in English instead of Merci. It is not that hard to change and means the world to the French that you tried that small amount. Just using those 4 words has opened the world of France to us for 20 years. If you return and try you will be surprised how much French you might pick up. I am not fluent, but frequently the French think I am and take off with their rapid speech.
Next is transportation. In America we are "free" so we buy as many cars guzzling gas that we want and as big as we want and can get in the car and drive to where we damn well please when we damn well please. Not so overseas. Most places we go overseas use public transportation including buses and trains extensively and getting around by car most time is more difficult, especially in the cities. Plus when you take public transportation you have to follow their standards and rules, something Americans are loath to do. I hear Americans complaining about the up and down stairs with no elevators and the rough uneven cobblestone streets demanding something be done about it. There are few to no luxury limo services where you are joyfully picked up by your friendly driver who carries your items of luggage and you from point A to B. They are there in small amounts but must be scheduled in advance and the cost is usually higher than you expect. Especially in the cities you have to know how to buy tickets, how to read a map, be able to walk up and down multiple stairs, walk on uneven payment, and carry your luggage at the same time. If you are frail and elderly or disabled it is almost impossible. It is however one of the areas the French shine in politeness and helpfullness. Every time we navigated the stairs Frenchmen always asked if they could help and carry our luggage on the stairs and no one ran off with it, and on the subway, most younger people gave up their seats for us. The key here is to understand the default position has to be you are responsible for taking care of your self so be prepared. In the past, we were dependent on Uber but today traffic in Paris at least is at a standstill and it took 2X to 3X longer to get somewhere making the Metro the best option. But you must have the ability to navigate the Metro. One more thing, once you enter the Metro keep your ticket in your hand or immediately available. Around every corner, there might be a policeman waiting to check your ticket and arrest you if you don't have it. To us using the trains to travel to the countryside and other places, is great, but be sure you know what to do from buying your ticket, downloading it on the phone, the current preferred default, locating the train and track to use at the station, and how to get on and get off the train and know exactly where your seat is as even in coach seats are assigned. We heard about one group of Americans who did not pay attention and on a 30-car train got on at one end when their seats were at the other end and had to walk the entire length of the train with their luggage bumping into every one to get to their seats at the extreme other ends of the train.
You may not believe in climate change or Global warming or environmental issues but they do in a big way and are your worst nightmare tree huggers. They recycle everything and expect you to do the same. They have minimal garbage. Ever notice the very small waste bins in bathrooms that hold about two balls of tissue? Anything organic is saved for compost. Everything is smaller to have a lower impact on the environment. You will immediately notice the emphasis on the transportation system being carbon neutral. In our apartment, we had multiple garbage cans for plastic, glass, garbage, and organic material and it was up to us to learn what was what and use it correctly. I did find one thing they seem to be hypocrites on. When you go to a pastry shop they gift wrap it before you leave. You can argue with them all you want but for some crazy reason, they believe they have to gift wrap pastries. I just want to go outside and eat it, but not until I unwrap the gift wrapping. You also need to be aware air conditioning is not common in France. You have to be very careful when booking to clearly state you need air conditioning. As Global warming increases Paris becomes hotter and hotter. Our apartment was not air conditioned and I was not clear on that. But with fans and closing windows and shades during the day it was cool enough to work out. In the winter they have too much heat as the French are cold-natured. We had separate heaters and controls in each and every room including bathrooms that had to be turned off by us in June. Here is a picture of the extent and detail and minutia they go to protect the environment. Pictured is the cap of a standard plastic water bottle that cannot be removed. You can unscrew it but it stays on the bottle in an interesting engineering idea. It flips open and closes and you can screw it back on and is recycled with the bottle. Obviously prevents millions of plastic caps from littering the land and oceans.
There is a long learning curve as everything is different. One example, for the first time we rented an apartment which was a long learning process in and of itself. Our apartment was minimalist which was fine but we had few linens and no linens to change so we had to rely on our washer and dryer. We went out and purchased more towels and pillows to leave behind. But our washer and dryer were French with the operations manual in French and the first week we could not use them properly. Yes, the rental agent spent a small amount of time showing us the place and how things worked but not to the level needed. Again, the French expect you to take care of yourself. After a week we looked up online the brand and model number and found a manual in English and were able to do OK. We also had a French induction kitchen which took some time to figure out. The electrical service is 240 Volt so make sure you are educated in that or you will blow the circuits. We have done it. In terms of housing, you need to recognize that especially in France smaller is better. Apartments, hotel rooms, and restaurants are much smaller square footage-wise than you realize. Also, the bathrooms are smaller, usually with a small shower and no tub. You can get a large suite at the Ritz or a nice large apartment with 3 or 4 bedrooms but be prepared to spend $5000 a night or $25,000 to $40,000 a month. If you can afford that go for it. I cannot. For the first time ever we rented an apartment for a month and it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. We were tired of coming here and rush, rush, rush to see as much as humanly possible in the shortest time frame. It simply does not work as there is no rush rush rush in France and you leave exhausted. With the apartment, we had a home to come back to. We spent 5 days in Beaune buying wine way too busy but came home to a peaceful apartment in a quiet neighborhood where we could rest a few days before returning to the tourist circuit. We had twice the space of a hotel and much more private, we had a full kitchen so we did not have to eat out every meal. We had a washer and dryer to do laundry once we figured out how to use it. All the advantages outweighed any disadvantages and hopefully, if we return we come right back to the same place. As I speak the broker Paris Attitude has been great so far and easy to deal with. An interesting aspect of France is despite a bloody revolution to overthrow the aristocracy they still seem to like having rich people around and a lot of things are arranged to cater to the rich. They just expect if you act rich you will be more than willing to pay outrageous prices. It is how they define rich. The good news is there are millions of opportunities to eat and live like a king over here at more moderate prices, you just have to look for them.
There will always be glitches, mix-ups, mistakes, and language barriers, sometimes seeming to occur daily. It is not uncommon to expect something only to have a French person tell you, No No, No that is not what is supposed to happen. Then comes the fun of trying to straighten it out in a different language and culture. Interestingly in Chinese culture, they will never tell you no for fear of losing face, they will say "That is not convenient" leaving you to figure out what it means. Trust me it means no. In France never get loud, raise your voice, scream, or be aggressive as they will shut down and leave. That kind of American approach has never been their style. Remember initially with Hitler their initial approach was to negotiate over fighting. They are after all lovers and what great lovers they are. Remain calm, find somewhere someone who speaks English and they will do their best to help you. On a train ride, one of our party was very tall with very long legs and was seated across a table from another tall man with very long legs and it was not going to work. Initially, he walked around the car trying to find an unoccupied seat of which none existed but once calmly explained a nice lady got up and said, in English, I have short legs please take my seat and I will sit across from the tall guy. Win, win for all. For me at least that kind of polite and nice accommodation has always happened in France when approached calmly. Our greatest story is with my wife and two children we were at the Montparnasse train station trying to purchase tickets to Versaille and had not yet learned easily the way to purchase tickets at a machine. A nice Frenchman, probably under 30 said let me help. He took out his own cash, purchased 4 tickets at his expense, gave the tickets to us and said have a nice day in Versaille and walked off. Does that happen in America??
And now to the feast de resistance, food, and wine. To me, 50% of French culture and economy is food and wine, and is the best in the world and the French know it and are extremely proud of it. In France, lunch is from 12 noon to 2 or now 3 PM and the entire nation shuts down. Unless there is a cardiac arrest nothing is changing this. And at dinner from around 7:30 PM onward everyone sits down for dinner. Do not plan to try and upend this, You will only be disappointed. One of the hardest things to get used to over here is sitting down for lunch and dinner and learning you are not going anywhere for at least 2 hours so just cool it and enjoy the experience. Service is painfully slow. Getting the check is painfully slow. Over time, possibly years, you will learn to fully appreciate it. Breakfast is another story. They don't eat big breakfasts. Coffee, a croissant, and maybe orange juice but no bacon and eggs. They eat eggs for dinner. Interestingly in Paris proper there are three places called "Breakfast in America" and they are always full of French people. The food in France is wonderful and you will never have a bad meal anywhere. If you do, the French will immediately stop going there and shut the place down. But you will quickly tire of it as it is extremely filling and rich. Eventually, you will learn to go to the grocery store and purchase light fare for dinner every couple of days or go to McDonalds as they do exist in France.
I will finish with this. All men are citizens of two countries, and one of them is France. They are our blood brothers. If not for them with their Naval blockade of Yorktown, which bankrupted their treasury, and us and the Russians taking care of Hitler for them, both of us would be speaking German. I am tired of hearing how rude they are. They are not. They are the most polite, caring, and helpful people I have met. I pray they do not lose it trying to be like us. I do not know how they do it but to me, they also are the most productive people on the planet because they eat 6 hours a day leaving only 2 for work, yet they have some of the most massive and beautiful buildings in the world, some of the best art, some of the most efficient agriculture and medical care, and a great transportation system. I have decided because of their laid-back culture which concentrates on time with family and meals, a joie de life, adequate time off, and health care they are so happy they are able to create miracles. I have a bias I should mention. My father was an aircrew member on a B24 and along with combat missions, including D-Day, he flew supplies to the Free French in the south of France and the French Resistance where he was at high risk of being captured and shot as a spy. If he was willing to die for France then to honor him I will always support them myself as my brothers and sisters.
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